This past month has been one where I’ve felt a little lost, even while I felt like I knew exactly where I was going. I did all the ‘right’ things; crossing all the T’s and dotting all the I’s but I felt a little empty and inadequate at the end of every day. Too much on my plate and no brakes to say ‘no.’ I was sorry every week to miss the opportunity to say ‘Hey’ to you guys.
Saying ‘no’ is huge. It doesn’t always sound like ‘no.’ It could be ‘not now’ or ‘I can do this tomorrow’ or ‘I can do ‘this’ for you instead of ‘that’.’ But my inability to say ‘no’, my discounting myself so much that I couldn’t say ‘no’ in any form was bred into me from birth. My sisters and I learned from our parents to go to work when we didn’t feel well; to feel guilty if we stayed home and took care of ourselves and to push ourselves to please others. I’m unlearning that shit.
I’m learning to ‘feel’ in my body; to ‘feel’ how I feel. Do my shoulders ache, does my stomach turn a little, do I feel excited or happy or light? My body is a more honest barometer for how I feel than my mind could ever be. It is simple and honest. My mind is convoluted and finds ways of thinking that have nothing to do with me or my well-being.
This next week or month, plug into yourself, ground on YOUR desires, YOUR fun, YOUR loves and passions, YOUR North star. That is the radical self-care and that is radical love for yourself and for the world. If you follow your own internal compass, you gift the world with something that no other person can give it. You are UNIQUE and your gifts are one-of-a-kind.